Saturday, November 27, 2010

Lessons from Jim





We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Fly Away From Here - Aerosmith


Strange Video?
It has been I very strange life so it works.  Not much to say but I got all kinds of stuff to fill you in on but I am pooped tonight!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Sorry it has been a while

Sorry I promise I will fill you in on all the BS that has been going on - only thing guarantied in life is death an taxes - thanks chris you deadbeat

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Lessons From Jim

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, 
and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free. 

Friday, October 22, 2010

A Roller Coaster Ride for your Ears!!

Aerosmith walking the dog live texas.

ONE of my Favorite Aerosmith songs!!

Morning thought for today

NH Waterfall at the Big Eddy
This morning is a slow dragging morning - I don't feel like doing much!  got to be to work in 90 mins still need to do yoga...... ARG

It was snowing a little earlier!!  You can see the snow on the top of some of the other mountains around me but nothing on the ground here yet.

Things I am pondering .....  Why does a man ask your friend for your phone # yet never call - that is just stupid!!  Why bother ???  Wasted effort.

I need more coffee - I was bad this morning I never eat in the morning but today I started my day with Trader Joes Wintery Blend coffee (yummy - I suggest this coffee to everyone - it kicks ass full of bold spices and more) and Cracker Jacks yes I ate a whole bag of Cracker Jacks while I sat here at this computer with my coffee.  Now I am going to eat all day - that why I never eat in the morning it starts a all day feeding freindzy!!

Ok sorry this is so short but I am gonna be late for work and I NEED to do my yoga!!!!  Why is it that Good habits are so hard to form!!  Why after months of doing yoga at least 1 or 2 times a day must I still force myself to do it.  I love yoga and it makes me feel great so what is the problem???  Any suggestions??

Its a Full Moon - Dances in beautiful circles under it, bask in its beauty and whisper your dreams to the Goddess!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A morning in need of some Zen and a kiss


Well I am wide awake but don't want to get out of bed.

 I am in need of a kiss!

 How I long for someone to bring me coffee I miss that more than anything I think. Some of these things you just take for granted. Sitting there and someone without asking just brings you a perfect cup of coffee damn I need that again its a tiny little action on someones part but it means more than any stupid ring. A text during the day to say I love you or how is your day going another tiny effortless thing that people take for granted these are really such huge things and most people overlook there importance or signifigance.
Don't waste your time on the big stuff its these little things you will miss the most when they are gone, like a long kiss out in the pouring rain!

 Today I am going to court with a very good friend to get a restraining order against her husband. This is going to be very very weird and uncomfortable, way to many memories way to formiliar. Not looking forward to doing this but then who would. Sort of afraid of it triggering flashbacks again that would really suck. She is really getting a preamptive one so I should be fine. However it sort of pisses me off as I have a multitude of pictures and video proving what the x did to me and I tried to get one in this state and they said "no that would be preamptive as he is in another state, if he steps one foot in this state then we will give you one" ummm if he comes here it would be to late - what part of almost killed me do you not understand. Her husband not to belittle her situation and fears but he blocked her in a driveway at a store and she was issued a restraining order with no past history of abuse and to me that makes no sense after what I was told. The legal system is crazy my x can beat someone so bad they have to have their spleen removed and cause of his family only get a $100 fine.

Ah. Life is crazy this is why I need my moments of Zen. While the Goddess has always been part of my life it is Zen living/thinking that helped with the post traumic stress (cause the ptsd theropist sure didn't, I think they were actually making it worse). It is Zen living that cleared my head of the shame, guilt and self loathing that was created by my treatment from my x.
However I am still and always will be a child of the Moon, the Goddess I just found a way to combine the 2. This was not very hard as Zen is more a way of seeing things than a religion so I guess that makes me a Zen-Witch. The Moon, my Goddess she gave me my courage, Zen taught me what to do with it after I was done with it in those lonely quiet moments of to much thinking. Am I even making sense?

 Ok I got to get out of bed and go do my yoga and get ready to hold my friends hand cause she is scared and she needs me.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Morning Zen


Well this was yestardays or was it todays Zen rock pile.
 All my days run into each other lately. Work work work.

 Well things I am pondering today.....
 Why is it so hard for me to hate someone who does deserve hatred?
 Unfortunately I believe that I can see past the evil deeds and words and see the sickness that lies within this person and while this may seem like a better way to be or think it accually pisses me off because they do not deserve my care or concern but they have it as anyone else would. But I guess that makes it all Zen and I can live with that but not stupidly and it does piss me off that I can't just hate. It might be the kinder more correct way to be but it just seems to leave something to be desired however I do believe in Karma.

 Another thing I am pondering today is why is it that flannel jammies keep you nice and warm but when you get under the covers they stick to the sheets and end up leaving you wrapped up in a big very uncomfortable knot and then you struggle to free yourself from this mess of you and the covers and remove your jammies from being embedded in places they just don't belong the only thing you can do at this point is to take the nice warm flannel jammies off and throw them on the floor and go back to sleep naked and coldm. Dosent this defete the whole purpose of wearing the flannel jammies? Just sayin'.

 Kiss the ones you love everyday and dance freely under the light of the moon at every possible chance you get! Blessed Be to all.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Aerosmith - You See Me Crying

This is such a beautiful song I wish they did not put that stupid intro on there -
at least its only a few seconds long.

This song makes me want to cry and right now I am relating way to much to this.  It has been a good day that ended crappy.  There is only so much one person can handle and right now I need a kick in the ass to remember how to live instead of run.  I am not used to being alone and I still after 18 months I can't stand my days off cause I don't want to be home alone, I hate it. But at the same time I don't think I want someone here either I just need to find other people other "circles" to do things with, I move back up here to New England thinking I will have no problem finding other people to work with or classes or study or just hang out and no luck, oh damn I am being whiny on here I didn't want to do that, but damn I can't scream in silence for much longer.

Please don't get me wrong I am happy and I am very happy here, I just need some interaction with like minded people.  I want to dance under the moon again, I want to say Merry Meet or Blessed Be and not get looks like I just jumped off the crazy train.  I don't have my sense of community here I guess thats it.  I used to teach magical craft classes and all that - I need a potluck supper with a circle!

On a brighter less whiny note I finally broke down and bought a winter coat today in Littleton, I like Littleton thought I might find some witchiness there, did find a store but thats it - I think that is very strange a store on its own - not unless there are people there to buy the stuff and there are always people there, so where are you all hiding???  Oh damn I am whining again.

Lets see x-husband I think has finally got it - talk to me like a human or leave me the fuck alone, one can only be texted or e-mailed "send me a picture of your big titties" so many times before you reach your want to puke limit.  There is a reason you are my X-husband.  So that shit is over so that is good.  Got a coat that is good, talked to an old friend today another good, dropped my huge bowl of homemade pasta salad all over the floor that was not so good, LOL.  Oh and ate Cracker Jacks and drank Coffee only thing missing is the Lucky Charms.  (ok some of you might not get that - but I do and it makes me smile a big huge smile),  so maybe it was not all that bad a day.

I did drive all the way to The Green House to go to Open Mike night and there were no seats and I was not standing in a bar all night by myself - sitting would have been fine but not standing.  That did kinda suck cause I had to turn around and drive all the way back, but what the hell my car is great on gas.  I have had it for 3 months and only had to put gas in it 3 times so far and I drive all over these mountains and drive down to Nashua too (thats a couple hours - but they have a Trader Joes' and my brother)

Oh hell I just need someone to go get a cup of coffee with!
Dunkins' anyone?  Damn to late they are closed already!

Monday, October 11, 2010

The Life of the Witch

I Love this one! It makes me feel very strong and empowered!
And most importantly it makes me feel at peace!

The Doors - I looked at you

This one REALLY has some great video clips and pictures!!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

View out my window last week!

This is the view out my back window - out the front I see the NH Mountains when these leaves are all gone I will see the Mountains of Vt and the Connecticut River 

The Power from with in


From beneath me arises the energy of the Earth, my home and my foundation.
From above me pours down the light of the Sun and the enchanting Moon.
To my right hand flows the strength to control and direct, the power of magic.
To my left hand comes the skill to divine and to heal, the source of blessing.

Yoga Poses

Incase you are board and have nothing to do here are a few easy Yoga poses for you to do!
Get off your ass and move!
I suggest turning the volume down the music with this video is very annoying!

The Doors - Twentieth Century Fox

Lessons from Jim




I'm interested in anything about revolt, disorder, chaos, especially activity that appears to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom.

Peace in an un-peaceful world.

A moment of Zen for today!

Aerosmith Kiss your past Good bye


Having a weird week and this song seems quite appropriate!

Before I Walk on Fire - Sophie B. Hawkins




I just really like this song!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Once again sitting at laundrymat. I am sorry I have not posted lately but I have not been online at all. But here I sit waiting for the dryer to finish so I can fold - oh damn my battery is about to die, so much for writing anything. Just not time I guess!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

The Art of Zen Rock Stacking!

My peaceful Zen stones all river rocks collected from my travels. I have a big bowl of them, I close my eyes & grab at least 5 of them & then sit peaceful & have my moments of Zen trying to stack them & some times that is a major event because some of them are very round & when I pick them what I touch is what have to stack! This might all sound a bit silly to you but my mind is too busy for meditation. But this IS meditation in a different form. It relieves stress & focuses the mind in the same exact way.

And I mention all this at 5:30AM because my sister is here, I can not seem to fall asleep, she is snoring away & now to top it off the alarm on her phone is going off & has been for the last ten minutes. So this would be such a lovely time to destress & focus on my Zen rocks but I might smash the phone with the very loud & fake sounding chirping frogs & crickets that is not waking her up but a rock might. Oh I guess thats not very Zen of me but I am a Witch not Buddhist, LOL

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Think about it!!




Witchcraft, like any science or philosophical system, must be approached from a liberal point of view. When looked at objectively, we see that Witchcraft is just another theoretical body of knowledge. It is a process, not a person. Therefore it is neutral, incapable of being either good or evil. Like all belief systems, Witchcraft is only as good or evil as the people using it.
LADY SABRINA

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Still Awake!

Just thought I would let you know that I am still awake and I should have just turned the computer!!!!! I hate typing on this silly phone, ok I got to stare aimlessly at the dark walls (I got sick of staring at the celling)

Must find sleep must work in AM!

I have to work in the morning and like normal I can't sleep so I am deleting pictures on my phone lying here in bed. I want to turn the computer on am finnish my post but then I will never get to sleep at all. This is the reason I prefer to work nights!!

Like me bummer sticker (well window sticker)? Its one of those you either get or you don't. Lol. Who gets it, do you?

I am hungry too. Arg I need to sleep not type mindless rambling that no one cares about on this teeny tiny phone keypad. Ok I am gonna stop rambling and try to sleep. lol no really that was not a joke, no seriously I am. Trying anyway!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Apology

Sorry I have not posted anything much but I had to work on my day off and have been called in early and asked to work late on the other days this week.  Not complaining at all I need that dreaded stuff we worship called money to pay my rent and pay for my car so its all good.  But I really wanted to finish my post on Zen, Goddesses and life in general, hope I can get back in the "zone" I was in when I started it!


But on a better note I got my Hippie Hat back after a year without it!!!  Very happy!!!  Ok OK  enough about the hat!


probably won't get much posted until sunday - sorry!

Lessons from Jim





If my poetry aims to achieve anything, it's to deliver people from the limited ways in which they see and feel.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Lessons from Steven


"Whether it's fine artists, musical artists, or ultra right wing bull shit artists, we all need the right to freedom of expression"

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Aerosmith: Seasons of Wither

As the Seasons of Nature and our life change this Mabon I thought this was a good video for today!


(they sing a short song first called Sometimes it fades into Seasons of Wither and this is the best preformance I have seen them do of this beautiful song)

This song always comforts me for whatever reason??

I was working on a big long very interesting post on beliefs and god and goddesses and all that but I just got called in to work again so this is all you get for now - I will try to finish it tonight when I get out of work!

Lessons from Jim

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Yummy Goodness!

Finally got my pie in the oven!!  Yummy I will be eating homemade fresh picked apple pie at about 2am.  LOL


Will be making homemade whipped cream first!!!


I am starving right now but don't know what I want to eat - well mainly cause I don't feel like cooking anything else.


So when in doubt of what to eat forget about eating you must not really be hungry - do some Yoga!

Procrastination!

The word for today is Procrastination!

I still can"t manage to get my ass moving and I know its cause I was supposed to be off today.  Less than an hour before I have to be at work and no yoga or anything else yet.

PROCRASTINATION is making me LATE!

Where did this damn cup of coffee come from!!!!

So I am drinking my coffee, I add a bit more to heat it up, I start washing my dishes, then in dawns on me my coffee is over there by the computer - where the hell did this coffee come from?????   ok still trying to figure out that one, dumped it out.

And why is there a woman trying to beat the world record for rubbing hot chillies in her eyes on my TV (BBC one of Gordon Ramseys shows) and more importantly WHY is there a world record for rubbing chillies into your eyes?  Who does thinks .. hmmmmm  I need my 15 minutes of fame I think I will rub hot peppers in my eyes!

Apples are peeled for making the pie when I get home from work, have to make a Mabon Apple Pie!!!

Why do I have so much to write and say today and no time to write any of it!  Just time to ramble!

So where did that coffee come from?

No Exploring today - Plans Changed!!!! Bummer

video
Well I did have today off.  I just got called in so no exploring where I live.  This video is from the last time I got to explore!  Don't know what happened to the sound?  And nice finger aye?

I have a headache from hell not too happy about going to work but hell I really like my job and I need the money so off to work I go.  I need to get some more coffee in me and get to my yoga done.  I was gonna make an apple pie and I only have 2 hours, but I think I will peel the apples and have them ready and make the pie when I get out tonight.  Arg I got to do so much before work now!  oh well my intent was to write some interesting stuff today - no time now damn!!!!  

Well I will try when I get home.


Lessons from Steven


"Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us." 

— Steven Tyler


Happy Mabon!

"Lady,
In swirling cloak of crimson,
of burnt orange and saffron,
You ride the winds of morning.
The scent of burning leaves fills the air;
the Second Harvest draws near.
Solitary once again You embody balance -
You are an archetype of the Self -
consummate, remote.
I long to follow as You seek the
formless wilderness
with never a thought to the cost.
You are the bright flame of morning,
impelling and unrestrained.
Bless me with Your passion."
-  Galen Gillotte
------------------------------------------------------------

"Leaves fall,the days grow cold.
The Goddess pulls her mantle of Earth around Her
as You, O Great Sun God, sail toward the West
to the land of eternal enchantment,
wrapped in the coolness of night.
Fruits ripen,seeds drip,
the hours of day and night are balanced."
-------------------------------------------------------------------

"O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stained
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof, there thou may'st rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe;
And all the daughters of the year shall dance,
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers. "
-   William Blake
-----------------------------------------------------------------

"The Wheel turns on - 'tis Mabon-tide.
Dawn and dusk abreast now ride
darkness, brightness, calm and storms.
The hand that holds the scythe transforms.
I vow this wisdom shall be my own:
poise will let my power be known.
From balance the Wheel now turns toward the deep.
Through Winter, by vow and faith, I'll keep."
Ashleen O'Gaea
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Enjoy this the second harvest of that which you have sewn throughout the year!
Prepare and nurture the same for the third and final harvest in October.
Always remember we do reap all that we sow.
We are responsible for ALL that we sow!
Daizi

Monday, September 20, 2010

Good Morning - well my morning anyway!


Morning around here is Coffee, computer, Cat Stevens (today, it was Kate Bush yesterday), Postcards and Yoga.

And my damn coffee is cold, I am soooo procrastinating this morning.  I need to write my postcards to my aunt, it makes her very happy to get a few postcards everyday from me and I only got one sent last week cause I was moving all my stuff around now I have to make up for it!!  I don't feel like it right now!

I have to leave for work in an hour and a half, I have not even done my Yoga for the morning!  Bad Me!  Got to go get some hot coffee!

Need to check out The Unknown Death Crones (not unknown to me  LOL- luv ya Nix) blog since I posted a reply on there bitching about the organization of Wicca might have started a witch war, oops!  And why does everyone ASSUME you are Wiccan if you believe/worship a Goddess/Moon, that has always bothered me.  I am not Wiccan, I do agree with many of their beliefs but not all, and I have issues with the duality and that is a huge part of Wiccan so don't call me Wiccan, please!!  ARG - get off soapbox its to early for this!  ok back to hot coffee and Yoga - this is not the best combination either.  I think I will finish this discussion later tonight when I get out of work!

Ok rambled on enough  now I have to get going running very late this morning!

Annabel Lee - Edgar Allen Poe poem Sung by Stevie Nicks!!!


Damn was looking for my favorite Edgar Allen Poe poem and found this!!
Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Kate Bush - Moments Of Pleasure

Stop all that swirling your making me seasick!
Hmmmm ... Moments of Pleasure.....What are some of mine?

The purr of a cat snuggled up with you
The smell of the fresh rain
Dancing under the Full Moon
The touch of a loving man as he reaches for your hand
Swimming in the ocean at night
The smile of the Full Moon as she looks down on you
Coming home
Waffles/Pancakes with real maple syrup
Cat Stevens in the morning with a good cup of coffee
Apple picking
Ferret whiskers tickling your nose
Peanut Butter & Fluff sandwiches (ok admittedly I am eating one right now)
A good long kiss in the pouring rain!!
Bonfires (and marshmellows)
The smell of a fresh Yule/christmas tree
Having all your bills paid & having enough extra to buy a book or cd after putting some in savings!
The smell of the heat when it first comes on
The smell of a house heated by a fireplace
Actually getting something done on my day off
The sun popping through the clouds on a cloudy day
The smell of the ocean
Waterfalls
Riding a horse
Morning coffee with someone you love
Finding something you thought was lost forever
Feeling a past moment from long ago
Feeling Zen
Finding an old friend
Maple Sugar cotton candy
Where ever it is that the scent of Patchouli oil sends me
That warm feeling -  you know the one
The first time you get to open the windows after winter
The first snowfall
Playing in the snow
Listening to the song "The Crystal Ship"
Any time I get to spend with my Uncle Noel
Remembering Joe's sock obsession
Creating Art
Watching the leaves change
Seeing a bear walk into the woods
Sitting by a river
Listening to someone from Southie talk (south Boston)
Sitting down by the Mummies in the MFA
Realizing you might not be happy but you ARE content
Listening to your mothers voice saved on the answering machine
The smells of Autumn

Well I guess thats enough for now  ;-)

So tell me some of yours!!!!!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

She Sits (yeah I wrote a poem, stop laughing)

She sits, she watches
She listens, she learns
She learns what not to do.

She sits, she gets wounded
She listens, she begs
She learns he does not hear.

She sits, she obeys
She listens, she cries
She learns she does not matter.

She sits, she bruises
She listens, she stuffs it down inside
She learns he does not love her.

She sits, she bleeds
She listens, she hears her silence
She learns he feels no guilt.

She sits, she is not safe
She listens, she begs again
She learns he does not care.

She sits, she thinks
She listens, she hears her thoughts
She learns she has the power.

She sits, she speaks
She listens, she tells him to leave
She learns she has strength.

She sits, she is lonely
She listens, she remembers
She learns to be herself.

She sits, she smiles
She listens, she hears music
She learns she is happy.

She sits, she wonders
She listens, she chooses
She learns she makes her destiny.

She sits, she breathes
She listens, she is relaxed
She relizes she is now free.

TC 9/15/10

Aerosmith - Love Me Two Times - this is odd sounding to me


Just something to share with you - not to sure what I think, I love both but together ?????

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

So I am bored at the laundrymat..... This pic is from my last day off when I went to the farm to get groceries. So why is it the this new girl at Dunkins' insists on putting liquid sugar in my Iced Coffee? You think after the first few time I said yuck I didn't ask for that crap that she would stop but nope she did it again. Just my bitch for the night. I am off today and tomorrow and I have nothing to do! Its getting chilly here so jumping in the river is out since its dark & cold & thats not to safe alone in the dark otherwise I would probably go do that when I get done with this damn laundry. Maybe tomorrow I will journey to Southwicks Wild Animal Farm I have not been there in about 20 years Joe and I used to go there every week and take my little brother. It is strange enough living back in New England but going there without Joe will be very strange (if you did not read the
begining posts Joe was my husand of 15 years - he is commonly refered to as the good husband!)

Lessons from Jim


"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first." 

 Jim Morrison

Poetry - Jim Morrison


Just something I found today.   That I thought I would share with you!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Just a quick not while i am getting ready for work. Sorry I have not posted much but I am still actually trying to finish the mess I created while rearranging this place. I promise I will write something tonight when I get home. While I am at work listen to some good music for me and do some yoga for mr while you are at it since I skipped the last 2 days. I have not done that since I started boy does my body know I skipped all is not in allignment today. Got to get back it to the flow of things. Don't ever let me redo my place like this again.

However I must add that I am liking what it is looking like and the space created for my art is fabulous!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Guilty Pleasures!



                           Sorry - I could not Help Myself!!

OH Damn - here we go again!

Do not let me do this again!!

I have a constant need to re-arrange things!!  But then sometimes I over do it and start to big a project.  I had one day off I decided to move upstairs downstairs and downstairs up.  Am I crazy now I am in this claustrophobic mess of clutter till I finish my endeavor.  I have to leave for work in 30 minutes and I am still working on the hellish mess that I have created and I have to come home to this mess and work on it some more!!!   Luckily I have Friday off to work on it again but I did not want to spend all my days off doing it.  

And lets not even talk about the upstairs that place I can not see from here.  This is not good I am an anti-clutter neat freak surrounded by piles of art supplies and books everywhere HELP!!

Ok for the record my sister does the same thing sometime just on a smaller level - so I know I am not alone!!!  LOL

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Delusion of Sleep

Why oh why am I never able to sleep? Why does sleep not come natural to me? I hear the silence of the night as all those around me in there apartments rest in the peaceful slumber then I hear the scurry of them all waking up from their restful beds as they prepare for work. I hear the doors all close and cars drive away. As I still lay here wondering what it must feel like to just sleep and rest. What a joy it must be to sleep, to just put your head on a pillow and drift off to a peaceful bliss.

Sleep, one of the great gifts of life that most of us take for granted. There are so many things in life that we don't stop to enjoy or even notice. Things that are vital to our core beings that we just over look because they are constant and ever present. Take time to realize some of these things and your mind will expand to new horizons.

Ok, I guess its another sleepless night for me. I am just giving up and getting my ass up out of this bed and make me some pancakes!!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Lessons from Jim


“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Burning souls of poets and passion, demons within spilling out.

Why is it that there are no great poets any more??  And by poets I don't mean the kind of writers that sit and write poems.   I mean the men and women too that live there life as poetry?  There used to be so many of these people years ago, now where are they?  Where are the Jim Morrison, Freida Kahlo (artist), John Lennon, Arlo Guthry, Abby Hoffman (activist), Jane Goodall (activist), Oscar Wilde, Karen Silkwood even Allen Ginsburg of our, this time of the right now.

The 60s were full of them and many of them spilled right in to the 70s. Artists, Poets, People with a real message and/or cause tortured souls but poets of life and poets of the soul no less.

There was some hope of this return to poetry in the 90s with Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder but as with Morrison, Kurts inner fire burned him out and off to calmer places, I can see the 2 of them cruising through the desert together through the night haunting other lost souls.  And as for Eddie Vedder well I don't know what happened there.  The poetry of what becomes your life is a hard thing to survive if you are a true poet of life.  Living life of pure thought and passion, its not something most of them can give up, death would be better than giving up.

Is it that the world would not except these poets of life now?  Would we call them terrorists of the mind?  Not all these poets of life had a cause or a point at all beyond a command from within to be true to their art and/or themselves.  But they were poets and artists of this thing we call life, giving there all and some of them their lives for art or a true cause.  I want my poets of life back, where have they gone?

Is it that there have been 3 decades of drab chickens born, no I don't believe that.  Hmmmm.....  3 decades of people glued to their chairs staring at a an electrified box of some kind or another could that be it? .......

There will be more on this topic but I must get ready for work...

Saturday, September 4, 2010

So its August and I pull up to the hairdressers and I see this sign that I have seen a ton of times around here but this time I pay attention and read it, "beware of falling snow and ice" well I am hoping that in August I can at least feel safe from the snow and ice but I guess it was all a dream.

I need to take a Moonlight Drive

I love Jim, his voice sucks you in and his words are poetry to the minds eye!

Right now I want to take a Moonlight Drive right to the beach but I want a nice clean beach Hyannis or Maine that sounds good.  I have not jumped in the ocean at midnight in about a year.  I used to do that all the time even in January!!  

Well I can't go anywhere right now and its not as much fun by yourself anyway, but it still kicks ass - I just have to much to do!!  I will write more about this topic often,  lol.


Friday, September 3, 2010

So What does a good Vegetarian do for work?

This is where I work
Well I guess I am not a good vegetarian but a good realist cause I make a living and pay my bills and owe no one and get no government hand outs but in order to do this - the vegetarian slices meat for a living.  How screwy is that?  A girls got to do what a girls got to do!  And if you got a problem with that in this economy you can pay my bills for me and I will spend the next 6 months looking for work.

Truth be told I actually like my job and the people I work with.  So since most people hate their jobs I consider myself lucky.  I just don't focus on the ironic joke life plays on me, there is a reason for everything that life throws your way so one day it might be interesting to find out why I cut dead stuff all day.  

My job allows me to sit here in my loft and write this blog while I drink coffee and eat cantaloupe!  Otherwise I would be living in someones cellar eating someone elses food, with no internet let alone wireless.  So life is good just a little weird sometimes.  Just smile and say thank you!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Day Off


So today I am off from work and my aunt sent me a few $ for my birthday so when D said "hey woman, I am getting a pedicure tomorrow want to go?" I said what the hell I never had one before and I have the money I might as well check it out.
Now that was cool the chair even gave me a good message! I will be doing that again! Or maybe a real message, not used to caring about me and how I feel, its a nice but strange change. Look out Diane we might have to pamper ourselves on a regular basis! Just tell your hubby its so you will look good for him! YUP thats it.

At the laundry-mat, just so you know it is 3 walls of huge windows and no air conditioning.  It's like being in a big oven!! I have sweat rolling down my head. Yuck!

All this for clean clothes for work, well I guess its better than wearing dirty clothes that smell like meat, yup the vegetarian slices meat for a living. How ironic is that?

Sometimes you just have to laugh at what life hands you, live it and be it! Thats Zen!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

My Best Friend Killed Me or HOW to Kill your friend the right way!!


To avoid getting in trouble at work one of my best friends said that I died, now this did get her out of trouble at work but not with me.  At first I was like You did what? and I was kind of upset but then I thought whatever but then I had a thought "please tell me you did not make me die of cancer" the phone grew silent - she did it, now I am not happy apparently I died on the operating room table, which is probably how I will go no time soon at all thank you!!  So this is where my bitch is .... 

IF you must kill your friends how about letting them have some fun in the process?   What about skydiving, slipping into a volcano in Hawaii, run over by a charging bull while participating in a bull run, heart attack while having sex.  Or how about at least interesting you could try they died in a car chase after running a red light, their stalker caught up with them, they were rescuing a snail from the 3rd rail.  Come on people this is a friends life let them die with some dignity and intrigue.  Make it worth their while, they gave up their life for you!

Some of my personal choices if you must kill me again would be..........
Out for a ride and fell off the back of boyfriends motorcycle and landed on head dying instantly.
At an Aerosmith concert and Steven Tyler falls off stage crushing me to death, however this one led to a better way for me to go.
Died of a heart attack while having sex with Steven Tyler.  (and could we make him a little younger while we are at it?).
Drowned trying to save an otter.
Choked on a Zotz.
Swept off to sea. 

I love you Nikki - good luck trying to never mention me again at least you live in another state from me now so that does make it easier, otherwise there would be mass hauntings.  




X-Husbands

ok so I have a few X-Husbands.....
Phil I was married to for about 7 year,  we are friendly with each other and talk on FB it is nice. 
Joe the love of my life after 15 years of marriage had the strangest mid-life crisis I have ever seen.

Foolish Behaving X-husband Restraint
Then there was the violently abusive #3 who on my birthday sent me an e-mail saying Happy Birthday and a few niceties (this is the only way he can contact me) I previously had my cell turned off and got new service cause I was sick of waking up to pictures of his "stuff" in my face.  This seemed to be different and there had been no porno picture emails, so I gave him credit for being kind and sending me the email when my sister did not even bother to tell me happy birthday.  What a friggin' mistake that was, cause apparently this morning 2 days after thinking maybe he has come to his senses what do I get but porno pics of him in e-mail.  What is with that shit?  Men just so you know most women although we enjoy sex and what you do with it, we do not find it attractive to look at, and especially if you are not our husbands/boyfriend or lover whatever the case may be. and after you have sent a woman an e-mail saying "send me a picture of your big titties" (sorry I don't normally talk like that - they are not my words) and if you have sent similar messages 5 or more times and we don't respond to it, it does not mean send us a picture of you close up and naked!!  You know I don't know what happened but I sure did not marry the man he turned out to be.  But I sure as hell divorced the man he turned in to. The man I loved did not really exist (another thing you men should know just be yourselves pretending to be what you think or know we want and not being who you really are will only make BOTH of you miserable!) Back to topic........
Unless a woman asks you for a picture of you naked or you are both "playing" on the phone don't send us close ups of your stuff.  Also I might add people that move 1000s of miles away from you probably really don't want to see that shit anyway!!
Enough said?

Assorted Ramblings

Well hmmmm......... Ramblings         Well here we go!

Ok mindless banter here we come......
Could someone tell me why Blogger always puts the wrong time on my blogs?  And while I am bitching about that why is it that I can't get the gadget that is on my other blog threw Blogger on this blog,  I really would like my Oscar Wilde and Edgar Allen Poe gadgets on this blog!!!

Why is it that the nice kind man that lives down stairs from me who wrote me a love song and would treat me decent, why is it that he does not interest me beyond a friend?  Oh wait I can answer that cause he has no real job and goes to meetings every day so I guess the real question is are there any single men that don't have problems with alcohol left out there?  I don't even go to bars so where do they come from?

And why can't I have a cat in my apartment hell if you can smoke you should be able to have a small pet.  Smoke causes about the same or more damage than many small animals would to apartments.   

ok heres a good one - why do I still have artist block?????   

ok done for a little while

Thursday, August 26, 2010

On a stormy day you can see..........

If on a clear day you can see forever, this is how far you can see on a horribly stormy day at Cape Elizabeth, Maine.
Its my birthday well was my birthday, had nothing to do so I drove all the way across 2 states to go to Portlandhead Light house then to eat lobster dinner after. I owe some serious Karma for my meal of death. got home after midnight. Pretty sucky Bday but what the hell I got some cool ocean and lighthouse picture is a storm and I got to eat 2 lobsters and steamers! OK I took one crustation buddy home with me. Going to watch a movie on NetFlix hmmmmm what should I watch? Well since I watched all of Weeds already I will go with another of the DeZpiX Dead Like Me. My pic for the night would be "What Lies Beneath" with Harrson Ford and Michelle Phiffer (sp) great movie if you have not seen this movie you need to its great! Okz off to watch a movie.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Why Steven Tyler?



Ok So WHY Steven Tyler or HOW?

Well I have alway had a thing for guys that look like him married a couple too.  LOL.  Anyway after all the BS that I have been through now it is a bit different.  Steven Tyler is my inspiration - he is the Phoenix no matter how hard he falls, no matter how far he falls, even into the depths of hell he always climbs himself out of the ashes to rise again.  And that is why he helped me get through some of the worst BS that life can give you!  That and he is pretty sexy too!!!!

A Moment of Zen 8/19/10

Friday, August 20, 2010