Saturday, February 26, 2011
Frozen in hell, well maybe not hell
Chris you have destroyed all that was me and when a kind man from my way way way back past tries to rekindle something in our hearts, once it appears possible that I might just be able to be kissed by another man. because of your violent abuse, cheating, lies and deceptions I can't believe anything, it all must be lies, there must be an alterior motive, I can't trust someone I have no fucking reason not to trust.
I have known this person since I was 13! The most important thing that you took from me he gave back to me - you took my ability to paint and draw away, your repeated beatings not only damaged my body, mind and soul but they suppressed what ever in me created art and this man 3000 miles away with a few phone calls full of laughs, smiles and kind words undid that damage you caused. Maybe one day the rest of your handiwork will be repaired but until then my heart is frozen in the icy tundra of fear you left me with.
But then again fuck you. You will never have peace in your life and I can slip into my painting and have more peace than you will ever know.