Frozen in hell, well maybe not hell

Into the heart that is all of good and loving kindness comes evil. So my frozen heart says.

Chris you have destroyed all that was me and when a kind man from my way way way back past tries to rekindle something in our hearts, once it appears possible that I might just be able to be kissed by another man. because of your violent abuse, cheating, lies and deceptions I can't believe anything, it all must be lies, there must be an alterior motive, I can't trust someone I have no fucking reason not to trust.

 I have known this person since I was 13! The most important thing that you took from me he gave back to me - you took my ability to paint and draw away, your repeated beatings not only damaged my body, mind and soul but they suppressed what ever in me created art and this man 3000 miles away with a few phone calls full of laughs, smiles and kind words undid that damage you caused. Maybe one day the rest of your handiwork will be repaired but until then my heart is frozen in the icy tundra of fear you left me with.

 But then again fuck you. You will never have peace in your life and I can slip into my painting and have more peace than you will ever know.

Annabel Lee - Edgar Allen Poe poem Sung by Stevie Nicks!!!

Damn was looking for my favorite Edgar Allen Poe poem and found this!!

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!

My Best Friend Killed Me or HOW to Kill your friend the right way!!

To avoid getting in trouble at work one of my best friends said that I died, now this did get her out of trouble at work but not with me.  At first I was like You did what? and I was kind of upset but then I thought whatever but then I had a thought "please tell me you did not make me die of cancer" the phone grew silent - she did it, now I am not happy apparently I died on the operating room table, which is probably how I will go no time soon at all thank you!!  So this is where my bitch is .... 

IF you must kill your friends how about letting them have some fun in the process?   What about skydiving, slipping into a volcano in Hawaii, run over by a charging bull while participating in a bull run, heart attack while having sex.  Or how about at least interesting you could try they died in a car chase after running a red light, their stalker caught up with them, they were rescuing a snail from the 3rd rail.  Come on people this is a friends life let them die with some dignity and intrigue.  Make it worth their while, they gave up their life for you!

Some of my personal choices if you must kill me again would be..........

Out for a ride and fell off the back of boyfriends motorcycle and landed on head dying instantly.

At an Aerosmith concert and Steven Tyler falls off stage crushing me to death, however this one led to a better way for me to go.

Died of a heart attack while having sex with Steven Tyler.  (and could we make him a little younger while we are at it?).

Drowned trying to save an otter.

Choked on a Zotz.

Swept off to sea. 

I love you Nikki - good luck trying to never mention me again at least you live in another state from me now so that does make it easier, otherwise there would be mass hauntings.